Acts of U.G. Krishnamurti

Another Side of U.G. — in VII. Acts

I. — U.G. Begins His Ministry

In the year following his Calamity, in December 1967, U.G traveled from Switzerland, where he was living with his benefactress, a native older woman named Valentine, to India for the first time since the event, which happened in July 1967. In Madras (now Chennai), U.G. ran into a boyhood friend, and as U.G. was looking for a place to live, his friend recommended him to the Jagadguru of Sringeri Pitha, Abhinava Vidya Tirtha Swami, head teacher and monk of the shrine at Sringeri.

When the Swami of Sringeri heard of the Calamity that had befallen U.G., he said, “I must speak with you in private.” The Swami led U.G. and Valentine into his private chambers on the far side of the River Tunga, where he sat on the Guru Pitha (teacher’s seat), with Valentine and U.G. seated in front of him. Their meeting had become an official visit.

“When I heard of the extraordinary things that happened to you, I was reminded of my guru,” said the Jagadguru. “I don’t know from my personal experience, but my teacher used to describe his experiences in just the way they occurred in your case. We were afraid that perhaps he had lost his mind.”

The Swami continued: “It is very rare that the body survives the shock of such a thoughtless state. According to the scriptures, within twenty-one days after such an event, the body dies. If the body can sustain its vital force and does not die, surely it must be for the sake of saving humanity. There’s no doubt about it.”

U.G. had no inclination to save the world or uplift humanity, but he listened silently as the teacher spoke. Then he presented the Jagadguru with his proposal of establishing his residence near Sringeri, in a solitary place away from people.

The Jagadguru replied: “If you so wish, I will be responsible for getting you any place around here. But your idea of living alone will never work. Whether you stay in a jungle or a mountain cave, people won’t stop coming to see you.” The teacher’s warning made U.G. give up on the idea of living away from people.

In those days, Dr. K.B. Ramakrishna Rao was the head of a college in Sringeri. The Jagadguru invited him to visit and introduced him to U.G. One evening, Dr. Ramakrishna Rao and a group of his friends led U.G. and Valentine to the top of Rishyasringa Hill near the River Tunga. They all sat under a tree. The doctor and his friends were curious to hear the story of U.G.’s Calamity. U.G. indulged them — he narrated for about an hour all of the things that had happened to him. It was in Sringeri that U.G. probably started lecturing again, after he had quit in the United States many years earlier.

II. — The Sermon in the Cave

Brahmachariji was a renunciate (sannyasin) who later became a friend of U.G.’s. His real name was Shiva Rama Sarma, and some people called him Swami Sarma, but U.G.’s friends called him Brahmachariji.

He was brought up in a wealthy family from Mysore. He had graduated university with a Master of Science in Chemical Engineering and passed the civil service examination. He disliked government work, so for a number of years he worked as an assistant professor at the Indian Institute of Science. In middle age, Brahmachariji became increasingly detached from daily concerns and instead dedicated himself to spiritual life for four decades. All of his brothers were millionaires. U.G. used to tease him by saying, “The qualities of your brothers are active in your blood also.”

There is a legend that a former head of Sringeri Pitha, Chandrasekhara Bharati Swami, used to meditate in an ancient cave under a two-storey house near a big bodhi tree in the yard of the monastery. Abhinava Vidya Tirtha Swami allowed Brahmachariji to live in that cave, so Brahmachariji had a two-storey house built on the same site on the rocks and made it habitable.

In December 1969, at Brahmachariji’s invitation, U.G. visited the Cave. Later that evening, he began lecturing to a small crown of about twenty:

“There is no moksha (liberation), no jivanmukti (one liberated while still alive), and no Atman (imperishable Self). And there is no such thing as self-realization. Those are all lies. There is only the Natural State. I don’t like to use your terms, such as enlightenment, jivanmukti, nirvana or moksha to refer to this state. Those terms suggest some other meanings. They sound weird to me.

“When I talk about the Natural State, it is not the state of someone who has attained self-realization or God realization. It is not something created through self-effort. This Natural State is always living and spontaneous. It happens to one in a billion, accidentally. It does not result from your effort. It is acausal. And why the Natural State happens to that one and not anyone else, I don’t know.

“It’s foolish to try to purify your consciousness through some practices in order to attain the Natural State. The consciousness is so pure that all of the experiences which you consider holy and sacred are only a contamination of it. They are unbearable filth, intolerable contamination. Once the barriers in your consciousness are broken, once the floodgates are open, everything will be washed away — all experiences, good and bad, sacred and profane, divine or demonic, all divine visions, all ‘ultimate’ states will be washed away from the consciousness.

“Krishna consciousness, Buddha consciousness, God consciousness, sages, saints and prophets, Jesus, Mohammad, Mahavir, enlightened men, yogis — all of them must be washed away in that flood. It is only then that consciousness becomes clear. God consciousness, Buddha consciousness, extraordinary visions are all equal to dirt. Until they are flushed out, consciousness will not become clear.

“You must believe my words. There is nothing permanent. Permanent happiness and infinite wisdom are illusory notions created by the nostril-closing phonies who endlessly discuss, ‘This is real, that is unreal,’ and who have nothing better to do. You trust those people and lose interest in things that are real, and then search for nonexistent things. If that’s not slipping into a lowly state, what is?”

All of the ancient sages who had taken residence in Chandrasekhar’s (the author’s) blood boiled in anger at U.G.’s words. “You say there is no God! You say God is an illusion man has created out of fear. Then you don’t think there is a power beyond the reach of the mind that orders this universe?”

U.G. replied: “I will say with certainty that there is no superior power outside of man and different from him. If there is any such power, that power is not different from you. The lowly mosquito sucking your blood is an expression of that divine power. That’s why I say it is irrelevant to discuss the question of God.

“Unless you abandon the idea of God in yourself, the life in you cannot carry on. Before the body dies and becomes immobile, God must die in you. That is true immortality. Living is only possible after God dies.”

U.G. in 1972, aged 54. Uncredited.

III. — U.G. Founds an Ashram

On September 30, 1979, U.G. and Valentine arrived in Bangalore by plane, having traveled from Hyderabad. The house that had been rented for them wouldn’t be ready for another few days, so it was arranged for them to stay temporarily at Jñana Ashram, the Abode of Wisdom, located about twenty kilometers south of Bangalore. There is an interesting story behind this ashram.

After Brahmachariji, with great difficulty, avoided the possible misfortune of ascending to the Seat of Kudli Math, U.G. created for him the opportunity to build the ashram. With his ingenuity and incessant hard work, Brahmachari transformed into a luscious garden the seven-acre barren land donated to him by the government. He also built the Shakti Ganapati Temple in the ashram, and in the course of time also built a school, a guesthouse, and housing for the staff.

Brahmachariji said he owed it all to U.G. When U.G. first saw the barren land, he put two rupees he had left from a taxi ride into Brahmachariji’s hand and told him it was U.G.’s donation for building an ashram. Ever since that gesture, everything Brahmachariji touched turned to gold.

Early the next morning, about five o’clock, U.G. came and sat in the living room. “Last night that cobra came to visit me,” he said. Whenever he visited the ashram, a giant cobra, almost twenty feet long (six meters), would come and visit him at least once. It would make loud noises with its hood to wake him. U.G. would open the back door of his room and go out to walk with the cobra for a while.

“Maybe because of the big rain last night, the snake was not as fast as before. It crawled and moved more slowly. Still, how awe-inspiring it looks when it crawls in its zigzag fashion!” Other people at the ashram normally couldn’t find it, but the cook would sometimes feed milk to it. The cobra seemed to know when U.G. was at the ashram — it would visit him at night, then disappear.

“In this desolate place, that cobra has been protecting me for all these years. Some great person is visiting in this form,” said Brahmachariji.

IV. — “This Is the Palm of Vishnu Himself!”

A few days after U.G. and Valentine came to stay at Jñana Ashram, in early October 1979, they were joined by two of U.G.’s friends, film director Mahesh Bhatt and actress Parveen Babi. The same evening they arrived, the whole group — U.G., Valentine, Mahesh and Parveen — drove to Mysore, where they were received warmly by Prof. Ramakrishna Rao of Mysore University, who put them up in the university guesthouse.

The next day, on October 4, 1979, U.G., Mahesh, Brahmachariji and some friends of Brahmachariji’s were all sitting in the hall of the guesthouse and talking. U.G. seemed to enjoy making fun of Brahmachariji whenever he had the chance. Sometimes U.G. would cross a line and Brahmachariji would fly into a rage. Then they would both calm down and laugh very loudly.

On that day, however, Brahmachariji was in a terrible mood. As if U.G. didn’t notice any of that, he kept making fun of Brahmachari: “A prostitute is more honest with herself than you are: she only sells her body for her livelihood, but you had to stoop to peddling Vedanta? After so much education and becoming a civil service officer, why did you have to stoop to selling Shankaracharya?”

Brahmachariji was furious that he was being ridiculed before others. “Mahesh, I’m not going to stay with this man for one more minute! When the professor, our host, returns, tell him I went back to Bangalore!” Without heeding Mahesh’s pleas, Brahmachariji rushed out of the house.

“U.G., Brahmachariji is really leaving in anger!” shouted Mahesh. But U.G. said quietly, “Don’t worry, he’s not going anywhere. He’ll be back, just wait and see.”

Meanwhile, as Brahmachariji went on his way, he ran into Prof. Rao. All his anger returned, and he shouted at the professor, “What kind of demon are you hosting here? Is he a wise man or a great demon?” Ramakrishna Rao tried to comfort the sannyasin, treating him like a dear friend and speaking gently to him.

As this went on, a passing Brahmin saw them and begged pitifully: “Sirs, I am hungry. Please give me a rupee. I will read your palms and tell your fortune.” Prof. Rao saw a great opportunity in this. “Brahmachari, I agree with you. I’m on your side. I have an idea. Let’s take this palmist with us and expose U.G.’s true colors! If it turns out that he’s a trickster and a phony, we’ll drive him out of the house! Come, let’s go home!”

Brahmachariji was pacified. He shouted at the Brahmin: “Hey, you, Brahmin! You must look at someone’s palm and tell us the exact truth! If you read his hand carefully and tell us what kind of man he is, I’ll give you ten rupees! But if you talk gibberish, I’ll make your head ring! Be ready!”

In a few minutes they were back at the house. Brahmachari curtly asked U.G. to show his hand to the palmist. U.G. obliged and stretched out both of his arms to show his palms like a good boy. The thin Brahmin looked at U.G.’s right hand for a couple of minutes and started blinking and howling with wide eyes: “Ohohohoho!”

“Speak, man! Speak clearly in words!” said Brahmachariji, grabbing the Brahmin by the arm. The Brahmin didn’t hear him and kept on studying the palm. A little while later, he exclaimed again: “Abababa, ahahaha!” He was gloating in ecstasy. Brahmachariji couldn’t contain his anger any longer and was getting ready to hit the Brahmin. “Are you going to say something in words, or should I break your head?!”

“Sir, what can I say!” responded the Brahmin. “I’ve never seen a palm like this in all my life! It surpasses the Rama avatar and the Krishna avatar! Truly, this is the palm of Srimannarayana — the palm of Vishnu himself!”

Brahmachariji was stunned. He couldn’t utter a word in reply; instead he collapsed onto the sofa. U.G. assessed the scene, turned to the palmist and made an offer: “If you can look at his palm and tell me how many children he has, I’ll give you twenty rupees.” He showed the palmist Brahmachari’s hand. After scrutinizing it for a minute, the Brahmin laughed. “Why, he is a staunch bachelor, sir! He has never married, so how can he have children?”

Brahmachari joined the roomful of people laughing at this accurate assessment. That day, U.G. and Brahmachariji tested each other and found out that what the other person was made of was genuine.

U.G. in 1979, aged 61. Uncredited.

V. — U.G. Listens to and Corrects Mantras

It was a winter night, perhaps in December 1976. The cold wind outside was penetrating through the holes of the closed doors. We all sat down to listen to Brahmachariji’s recitation of the Ganapati Upanishad. U.G. sat on a rug on the floor in the lotus posture. Brahmachariji sat facing him. The recitation went on for about twenty minutes. All that time U.G. sat motionless, with eyes closed, in the lotus position.

The things U.G. recounted after the recitation stunned everyone. “I feel as if the sounds of the mantras were coming out of myself. I experienced the sound going round in circles in a kind of rhythm, and spreading throughout my consciousness. Suddenly all that took the shape of Ganapati (the elephant-headed god, son of Shiva and Parvati, also known as Ganesh). In my consciousness my face became the face of Ganapati. My nose stretched and drooped down like an elephant’s trunk. Then, as though something snapped, it all disappeared. The movement stopped. The form was erased. Maybe there was some mistake in the recitation at that point.”

Brahmachariji admitted that was true. He said he forgot the mantra at a certain place, so he repeated those portions of the mantra, to the end, without errors. “Now it’s all correct. There was no gap in the movement. Everything is quite rhythmical.”

How was it possible that U.G. could have that experience? He explained it as something like the first wax cylinders imprinted with sound waves that could later be restored as sounds. Or in his case, U.G. explained it as sound waves transformed into electromagnetic waves transformed into light waves, which can then be transformed back into sound waves. “Because there is no division here,” he said, pointing to himself, all those sounds, along with the forms embedded in them, have echoed in my consciousness.”

Another time, also in October 1979, U.G. traveled to Ooty in Tamil Nadu, the southernmost state in India, to see his devotee, Dr. Kameswari. Almost as soon as she was born, her father taught Kameswari to worship the goddess Lalita Parameswari. She dedicated her life to the Goddess. She got married, had children and became an army doctor, but her world was always immersed in the Goddess.

Kameswari’s joy knew no bounds when she learned that U.G. was coming to visit her, for the first time, along with Parveen and Mahesh. As soon as U.G. and company stepped into her house, she had one foot in the kitchen and the other in the living room. Unable to stand it, U.G. settled himself in the kitchen as they talked, occasionally tasting her cooking and improving it with salt (U.G. loved salt). He even kept her company during her puja offering, the daily worship she performed at home. He asked her to utter the mantra out loud as she was meditating. When she finished, he said, “Good, perfect.”

One day, while Kameswari was doing puja, U.G. said: “Parts of the mantras are very powerful. They feel as if a great energy is flowing. But in some places the flow is interrupted. If you recite them out loud, I will correct them.” When she recited them again the next day as he corrected them, he said, “Now they sound right.”

Once U.G. commented on Kameswari’s puja: “When she recites those mantras, the sounds cause strange movements and experiences in me. It must be such experiences some people strive for when they do japa (uttering holy names) and tapas (austerities).”

The question came up, “No matter how mechanically they are recited, is it right to brush them aside as foolish?” “No, you mustn’t,” replied U.G. It wasn’t his style to condemn any practice as foolish if it was done sincerely and with a pure heart.

VI. — U.G. Visits a Temple

During the same visit to Prof. Ramakrishna Rao at Mysore University, the professor offered to take the group for a look at Chamundeshwari Temple. The news of U.G.’s visit to the temple preceded them, and by the time they arrived, a priest from the neighboring Lakshmi Narayana Temple by the name of Anandaji had arranged everything.

The priests of Chamundeshwari led the group directly into the inner sanctum, which was an honor not normally accorded even to the Maharajah. It was inconceivable that a foreigner like Valentine and worldly people like Parveen and Mahesh, considered untouchable by orthodox Hindus, would be led into the inner sanctum, where even orthodox Brahmins would not normally be allowed.

A special ceremony was performed for them. The holy relics were brought out — the sacred conch belonging to the Goddess, called Pancha Janya, and the Sri Chakra, the holy wheel carved with syllables on a precious metal plate — and U.G. was allowed to touch them. From the moment he stepped into the inner sanctum, U.G. felt the effects of the strong vibrations in there. He appeared to be in a trance or a semi-conscious state. The Sri Chakra and the Pancha Janya had a profound effect on him, and at one point he nearly collapsed. Brahmachariji caught him and steadied him.

Brahmachariji later said there were vertical marks on U.G.’s forehead, like the white marks worn by worshippers of Vishnu, and for the duration of his stay in the temple, another mark around his neck in the form of a serpent. When asked about these swellings, U.G. attempted to explain them scientifically. He said the worship by the priests was done with great devotion, and the yantras of geometric diagrams on metal plates filled the inner sanctum with powerful vibrations. The marks were simply U.G.’s body reacting to those vibrations. “They come and go,” he said. “Sometimes they happen when I’m on the toilet.”

An image of a yantra on a metal plate.

VII. — Ascension after 40 Years

It’s true, U.G. is no longer with us. He passed away in Italy in March 2007, aged 88, surrounded by his friends. If we think of U.G. the man, born on July 9, 1918, in the port city of Machilipatnam (Ma·chi·li·pat·nam) on the Bay of Bengal, it’s true that he is gone and will never exist again. Those who missed him will never have a chance to meet him. But I imagine he lives on as a bright band of violet light, fading to turquoise blue against the black of space, a unique frequency of light and self-aware.

Not only would he never read this post, my ‘Acts of U.G. Krishnamurti,’ but I imagine he would admonish me instead as follows:

“Why do you waste your time writing this drivel for no one’s benefit? Not only do you waste time twisting my words into something they’re not, which you are free to do, but you do it at work, on someone else’s dollar, shirking your work responsibilities to do so.

“You would be better off renting your ass by the half-hour under the freeway underpass than adding to the misery of the world by lionizing me and apotheosizing me with this ‘Life of U.G.’ Please.

“There’s nothing left of me, nothing to be remembered for. The sages know that all will eventually burn to ash, so they sing, Tryambakam yajamahe!’ — ‘We worship the Three-Eyed One,’ Lord Shiva who burns our ignorance to ashes.”

_________

The sensational stories given above, unavailable anywhere else in this condensed form, were compiled and adapted from K. Chandrasekhar’s Stopped in Our Tracks: Stories of U.G. in India (Winsome Books India, 2009), a collection of journal entries in their turn compiled and edited by Prof. J.S.R.L. Narayana Moorty (1934-2022).

Brief Biography of Cyril Glassé

Introduction

Mr. Cyril Glassé, the author of more than a dozen books, including Moses: The Man Who Never Was, Manicheism: Religion of 1,000 Masks, The Second Coming of the Judeo-Zoroastrian Jesus of the Dead Sea Scrolls, and multiple editions of The New Encyclopedia of Islam, is the most interesting person I have ever met who is not a dead author from the distant past. A towering intellect who has read more, perhaps, than anyone alive, he is fluent in Arabic, English, French, German and Russian. “I was often taken to be a descendant of the patron saint of Central Asia, Naqshbandi, since I could recite a lot of the Koran from memory, and did so in many places.”

An intellectual and literary giant who wandered far-flung places his entire life and whose experiences would fill more than one volume, Mr. Glassé, who turns 80 this year, was born in wartime Berlin, went to school in New York City, participated in summer programs at the Sorbonne and at Klessheim Schule (school) in Salzburg, Austria, received a Master of Arts degree from Columbia University, served in the Peace Corps in Morocco and thereafter traveled extensively (“about a third of my life was spent outside the United States”), finally pursuing a doctorate at Tübingen University in Germany before his accumulated knowledge and experience convinced him to remain faithful to his nature as an independent scholar and thinker.

Mr. Glassé and I corresponded extensively by email in 2023 and 2024. At the very beginning of our acquaintance, before we knew each other well, he very generously revised The Second Coming completely, in August and September 2023, upon my simple request for a PDF of his book to use in my research on the “historical Jesus.” He never charged me a dime to share his knowledge. Now I have the honor to compile a short biography of him, gleaned from our correspondence and unavailable anywhere else. Without further ado, I present Mr. Cyril Glassé — C.G., as he prefers to be called — in his own words.

Birth and Early Life: “As American as Apple Pie”

I was born in Berlin in November 1944, at 7:53 a.m., during an aerial bombardment of the city, on the day when Scorpio becomes Sagittarius (i.e., November 22, 1944). I was baptized into the Russian Orthodox Church, and my parents suspected that an Italian nanny in northern Italy, who spent all of her time with me in church, surreptitiously had me baptized Catholic as well. I was three months old, but perhaps I acted strange after that.

I grew up in Yonkers, New York, went to public school number 7 (P.S. 7) starting with kindergarten, then Longfellow Junior High School and Yonkers High. After that Columbia University, with stints at the Sorbonne, Klessheim Schule in Salzburg, Austria, and Tübingen University in Germany. I was in the Peace Corps in Morocco, where I took Richard Holbrook around the country for his orientation. I’m as American as apple pie.

According to papers (which I no longer have), my mother was born in Thessaloniki, Greece, and my father was born (prematurely) in Paris, France. (There were lots of Greeks and Italians in the Crimea. The Genoese had fortresses there, and Marco Polo jumped off to go to Iran from Theodosia.) My father survived premature birth through the use of hot water bottles (since incubators had not yet come into use). And that explains why I am fluent in French (although in German I don’t have an accent either).

As for being born in Berlin, I went to the hospital, Charité, and asked if they have any records of me, and they checked their archives, and found none with a name close to mine, except that of an unwed mother, which they would not disclose for reasons of discretion. (Charité was founded to care for prostitutes.) The other possible place would be an internment camp in Wulfen, which my father also mentioned. My mother died when I was six, so I don’t have her story. But Berlin was full of Russians at all time. Nabokov lived there before he came to America, and he was our neighbor when my father and sister taught at Cornell. Solzhenytsin came to visit my father in Ithaca.

However, the only place I remember is a D.P. (displaced person) internment camp in Lienz, Austria, and a castle in Klagenfurt. Also Bremerhaven, from which the ship left, and Ellis Island, where it arrived. However, the records from the ship have not survived. My grandfather painted a portrait of the captain of the USS General Heintzelman on route. I distinctly remember the Lindwurm statue (a dragon) with Hercules, in Klagenfurt, and the Woerthersee. Before Lienz, I was in Italy, but I remember nothing except my grandfather’s paintings of the towns, which do seem very familiar. He studied art in Paris with Leon Bakst, and knew Diaghilev, Benoit and that crowd.

My maternal grandmother was Karaite Jewish, so I can claim right of return and maybe seafront on the Mediterranean, since I am a legal Holocaust survivor, when they finally get rid of the Gazans and the Palestinians. Ah yes, I met the descendant of the princely head of the Russian and Lithuanian Karaites, as well as their spiritual head, since they openly say that they are Khazars who converted to Judaism. I assured them that all the Ashkenazis are Khazars also, who in 732 converted to Karaite Judaism, and later to Pharisee Judaism. The ones who think they are descended from Abraham, Isaac and Jacob are Khazars who later converted to Pharisee Judaism in 860 (during the Obadiah Reforms), with the offer of being adopted into the tribes of Benjamin and Judah, as described in the document “The Kuzari,” written in Spain.

According to the Hungarian director, Emory Tomar, of my Peace Corps training program in Pismo Beach, California, I was brought to the United States by the CIA through a religious front organization. So they would know better. Anybody else is dead. However, my real life story began in Morocco and continued in Switzerland.

First International Conference on Manichaeism

At the First International Conference on Manichaeism in Lund, Sweden, I met everyone who was someone in the world of Manichean studies, as well as at subsequent conferences in Calabria, Dublin, London and Turin. I am one of only four people still alive who were at that first conference — now maybe one of only three, or two.

The reason I ended up at the world’s first conference on Manicheism is curious in itself. In 1987, just before returning to Columbia for an M.A., I was on a plane to Damascus, going to a wedding. At a rest stop in Istanbul there was a character making remarks who looked like one of the Marx brothers, and I sat next to him on the next leg of the trip. I was on my way to Damascus, he, to Pakistan. I wanted to ask him some questions, so I told him my theory that when the Archegos of Manicheism left Baghdad in 708, it was leaked to everyone that he was leaving for Samarkand, Uzbekistan, fleeing the Shiites who were taking over and would who would execute Hallaj 14 years later. But I believed that the head of the religion went to North Africa instead, and became Caliph of the Fatimid dynasty after the first stand-in, the stalking-horse al-Mahdi, died. I also told him that the head of Manicheism today (or so he claims, and his 30 million followers believe it) is actually the Aga Khan, who lives in Paris. They don’t know about the Manicheism part — he does, since he went to Harvard, and bought the whole department of Islamic studies to shut them up. His followers believe the Aga Khan is God Himself, and will do anything for him.

The fellow who looked like a Marx brother told me, “You should go to the first world conference on Manicheism, which is about to take place in Sweden.” And he took out his card, which said: “Richard Frye, Aga Khan Professor of Iranian Studies, Harvard.” So when I went to Sweden I was very welcome, at first anyway, and afterwards perhaps not so much. I asked the convenor what he thought. He said as far as he was concerned, that was how things happened — but he was whispering, and talking in my ear, because… academics are a vicious bunch. Everyone is covering their ass, because even if they know Chinese, or ancient Persian, no one is really sure of what they think they know. The convenor did send me a student of his later, to be advised.

Four years later I met the same professor of Iranian studies, again by chance, in Dushambe, Tajikistan. It turned out he also spoke very good Russian, and we went all over town talking to the locals while his wife, 30 years younger, was writing her doctoral dissertation on Tajik poets.

Actually, I had encounters of a fantastical kind with the office of the Aga Khan before I even began writing, and afterwards. As it happened, years earlier, I was the prime (and only) candidate for the job of Secretary General of the Aga Khan Award for Architecture, since I could go to Saudi Arabia — where I had already been several times, and again later, when I wrote A Pilgrim’s Guide to Mecca. But in the end, they decided it did not look right if the Secretary General were not an Ismaili, even though Ismailis are not permitted in Saudi Arabia because they are actually Manicheans.

Travels in Africa, Asia and the Middle East

I went to Russia the first time in 1989, during winter vacation from my classes in New York for the M.A. I went to Moscow by invitation of my sister’s friends in the Academy of Sciences, and I discovered there was a conference on the environment going on in a hotel for westerners, where I went because they had all kinds of services and shops for westerners.

I was staying illegally with a family, even though I was there with an official invitation. Both my sister and I went to Columbia University; she got her doctorate there in 1964; I got my B.A. in 1966 and my M.A. in 1990. My sister is the only American whose work on Russian literature was published in the Soviet Union; she was famous there as a Pushkinist because she explained the cryptic poems by identifying who the real characters were in imaginary roles.

Some of the organizers, whom I ran into by chance in the hotel, were American students of my sister, so I was given a pass to attend. World religious leaders were in attendance, everyone from Central Asia to Yugoslavia, so I met all the religious heads of the Islamic republics. I was at the conference on a Saturday, flew to Samarkand for $8 on a government ticket, came back a week later in time for the reception in the Kremlin, crashed it without a real invitation, met Gorbachev, and brought back Soviet cigarettes for the Lebanese woman who taught Arabic.

Besides Gorbachev, I also met, several times, King Gustaf of Sweden, King Olaf of Norway, and the present King of Morocco when he was Crown Prince. I have also met, by pure chance, many, many other people. Such as a secretary of Tsar Nicholas II, who was living on 72nd Street in New York. I also met Aliev, the previous dictator of Azerbaijan, and the spiritual head, former KGB Major-General Shaykh al-Islam Pashazadeh, and also an Iranian Ayatollah — the list goes on.

I had received a high U.S. foreign service rating of ‘4’ in Moroccan Arabic in the Peace Corps. With a translation I can perfectly understand the Koran in Arabic, something that Koranic school teachers in Morocco cannot do! — even if they know it by heart — because they do not have access to translations since they only exist in other languages. It is unthinkable to make a translation of the Koran into Moroccan or Iraqi Arabic because it would sound like slang. I knew a lot of the Koran by heart myself, even with only a rudimentary knowledge of classical grammar.

I knew thirty times more Koran by heart than Reza, the son of the Shah. He only knew one short verse, whereas I could recite the whole surat al-Waqiah, and twenty others. The surat al-Waqiah, “the Event.” Someone admitted at the Manichean conference in Sweden that it was actually a description of the Manichean Day of Judgement. They were shocked by some of the things I said in my unrehearsed and impromptu lecture, off the top of my head. Looking around the room, my roommate Waldmann from the University of Tübingen said, “This will take them a long time to digest.” But they all thought I had a doctorate then. Many still do.

But now I remember, when I met Gorbachev in the Kremlin, I also met the spiritual head of Uzbekistan and Tajikistan, and the head of Turkish intelligence liaison for religious affairs, who slid up to us as we were chatting. Two or three years later, when I was in Tashkent, Tajikistan, I ran into the Mufti of Central Asia in a town square. I happened to be wearing a traditional Uzbek costume (a chapan), which was just gifted to me by a school, since I was the official guest of the Uzbekistan Communist Youth Komsomol.

The Mufti was about to address the central mosque. He invited me to come with him and speak to the assembled people, six or seven hundred altogether, in Arabic — which he proposed to translate into Uzbek. Of course, I could hardly give a speech in classical Arabic, and he could hardly translate it, even though he did know classical Arabic, but of course he would give his own speech, claiming he was interpreting, while putting his own words in my mouth. Who would know the difference? Since I had no idea what he would be saying, I said I preferred to speak to the people — my people — directly in Russian, which everyone could understand, and gave greetings from America to Uzbekistan. When I came out, some excited Tajiks came running up and told me a car was waiting to take me to Allahabad, Tajikistan, where people were waiting for me. I often wonder what would have happened if I had gotten into that car.

University of Tübingen and Break with Academia

My assigned roommate at the conference on Manicheism, an ex-Jesuit professor of religion at the University of Tübingen named Waldmann, stood in the back of the room as I spoke without notes, and when I had finished he told me it would take everyone else a long time to digest what I had said.

Waldmann set me up to get a doctorate at Tübingen with a view of becoming the right-hand man of Hans Kueng, and eventually to replace him. Kueng had been a Catholic Archbishop and advisor to Pope Paul VI until he wrote the book Infallible?. After that, the Catholic Church withdrew his permission to teach Catholic doctrine, and since his position at Tübingen was as a Catholic, the university made him into the Dean of Ecumenical Studies instead.

The ex-Jesuit Waldmann thought I was a natural choice to replace Hans Kueng since, according to him, I perfectly well understood both Christianity and Islam. Kueng was an extreme narcissist. All narcissists are extreme, but Waldmann said Kueng’s students who had been religious required psychological counseling after studying with him.

The actual Islamicist, the famous Heinz Halm, was supposed to be my Doktorvater until he discovered that my theories were completely different from his theories, and was taken aback that I was not going to be his disciple — or anyone’s disciple, for that matter. Only a thorn in his side. So he said that instead of getting a doctorate right away, what with me speaking only dialectical Moroccan Arabic and only broken classical Arabic (no one really knows classical anyway), I needed to get another M.A. in Germany first.

So I dropped the whole idea of getting a doctorate, and I was a regular enrolled student at Tübingen for only two semesters. I had gotten what I wanted, which was a taste of the most distinguished university in the world for theological studies, two stays in the luxurious housing at the medieval Wilhemstift, the most prestigious housing for Catholic students which was run by nuns who did the cleaning and made breakfast for the divinity students, all studying for the priesthood, a lot of photocopies from the library, which had everything, and German student life which included sword dueling in the Bruederschaften, mixed saunas with German girls I didn’t even know, extremely cheap student cafeterias and very good beer. But spending 15 or more years learning good school Arabic, Persian, Aramaic and Turkish is no fun at age 45, all on a small scholarship. With an unlimited expense account, sure, bring it on, but not on a small scholarship from Waldmann, who married rich and thought I would make a good agent of the Vatican. What he saw in me was that I “understand Islam completely, and Christianity just as well” — which of course is unusual. And even though he was an ex-Jesuit and married, he was still the Pope’s man.

On Writing The Second Coming of the Judeo-Zoroastrian Jesus of the Dead Sea Scrolls

Who the historical Jesus was is now quite clear. One piece of the evidence needed to solve this case was the murder described in the Dead Sea Scroll 1QpHab (Commentary on Habakkuk or Habakkuk Pesher). André Dupont-Sommer did the difficult, professional work. For which the Jesuits attacked him, and for which he gets only one line in the newest book, and this only the second book devoted to the most important text of the Dead Sea Scrolls, which Dupont-Sommer was the first to translate, and more importantly, decipher, which was the most difficult task of all. It’s also the hot potato that everyone wants buried.

I first began thinking about the Jesus conundrum when 30 of the Dead Sea Scrolls came to New York in 2012. Standing in front of them for an hour had a profound effect. And then for six years came flashes of insights. In a frenzy I wrote them down, each time starting afresh from the beginning. My book made Waldmann, the ex-Jesuit, furious, as if I was some kind of traitor to Christianity.

C.G. Today

Fortunately, my father kept the seven-room rent-controlled apartment near Columbia University as a sublet while I was dodging the draft of the Vietnam War. It was quite strange to come back in 1987 to the very same room I left in 1967 to go to the Peace Corps in Morocco for six years, then to Switzerland for eight, then elsewhere for six. But then, it has all been very strange. Now I live there with my wife, only 20 years younger than me.

From 1967, I experienced samadhi (meditative absorption) only once, during Peace Corps training in Oceano, California, during the full moon in May, when I was asking myself how is it that the Moroccans seem to exist in a completely different reality, and yet both they and we are here in one place, functioning together, even while completely misunderstanding each other and living in error of what the other fellow thinks is going on around him?

Well, yesterday, September 12, 2023, I experienced samadhi again, just a glimpse, when I was wondering how I was going to survive death in another form of consciousness, when, since I lost consciousness under anaesthesia, I really lost consciousness. I have been anaesthetized five times for colonoscopies, and five or so times for cardiac stents and cardiac ablation.

In April 2023, I was getting a second ablation inside the heart. A patient, looking anxious, was being wheeled past me as I stood in the door of a bathroom, and the attendants said to him, “Quiere bano?” And I said, “Quiere un cigar?” I remember during one heart procedure being asked if I was worried, and I said the only thing that worried me was my landlord raising my rent. Which is true. Which is why I have a mezuzah on my door even though I am not Jewish. Dying on an operating table is the least of my worries.

They didn’t wheel me into the operating room because I was walking around in the first place, so they just told me to walk in and lie down in this room filled with an enormous amount of equipment and some old person introduced himself as the anaesthetist and asked me if I’d “had a good breakfast.” This is a trick question, because if you had anything past midnight the procedure would be canceled. I later learned the anaesthetist was from Italy and his name is Emmanuel Rothschild. The surgeon, who I think does nothing but supervise young kids (for $8 million a year), was Srinivas Dukkipati. Cardiology in America is now a completely Indian business. Annapurna Koni does my stents. The first time was very sudden, after a stress test (I knew I was about to die six years ago), when she pulled me out of anaesthesia to say, “You have a lot of blockages. Do you have a preference?”

I realized vaguely only afterwards that what she was talking about was, did I want bypass instead of stents, which would mean having my chest sawn open with an electric saw. Fortunately, I said “I don’t care,” so I got three stents and went home the next day. It could have been that night, but they only got around to me at 9:30 p.m.

But in yesterday’s samadhi, only the second samadhi of my life, I realized that when I am under anaesthesia, I am not, as I thought previously, really unconscious, I am just dealing with a different state of mind, and everything actually depends upon my karmic nature, in other words, what I really am. In fact, I really like the state induced by propofol, such as that in colonoscopies, which is also known as the “milk of amnesia” and produces a wonderfully empty state of mind. I could live with that. And I realized that with impossibly good thinking and good behavior I could probably really get to like what happens when I am deeply anaesthetized and apparently am aware of nothing while the kids are poking around inside my heart if I could only learn to be more aware without the physical input of a physical body, an input which the deep, deep anaesthesia has removed. Which also means death could be OK too, a barely noticeable transition to thinking clearly in a continuum without landlords. But of course the state of my karmic nature, and my relationship with the House Super, who is a real jerk, is worrisome. If I ran across him when I am dead I could do something regrettable.

I turn 80 this year, on the day when Scorpio becomes Sagittarius. Never, never did I think I would reach such an age and in one piece. But since that has happened, thanks to stents and ablation, there is another milestone which seems within reach, and that is to make it to 81. The reason why this is an interesting goal is that 81 is the time it takes Uranus to go around the Sun, so, by analogy, if you make it to 81, you have seen the whole show, from beginning to end. Since I came in, during an aerial bombardment of Berlin in November 1944, that makes me wonder how I will go out.

As for my future plans, although I have been putting it off for, oh, about 50 years, and I was about to abandon the idea as not feasible at my age, I have a burning desire to go to Iraq, because I want to visit the arch of the Sassanid palace in Ctesiphon, the crypto tomb where Mani is buried incognito, and a gigantic cave which I suspect exists in the remainders of Hira, the Lakhmid capital, where I am sure that Muhammad had his Bar Mitzvah during a Manichean ceremony in 583. Since I speak Arabic, it should be a piece of cake. As it is, I guess I have spent about a third of my life outside the United States. Having lived in Morocco, I feel strangely at home in Lahore, Syria and Egypt.

Mani’s tomb is 100 meters from the Sassanid palace in Ctesiphon (Baghdad). He is buried there under an assumed identity, that of Salman al-Farsi, the imaginary companion of the Prophet Muhammad who was invented during the Abbasid Revolution, in the same way Priscillian, Bishop of Avila, a Manichean, is buried as “Saint James” in Santiago de Compostela, Spain, and Mar Ammo is buried as the fourth Caliph Ali in Mazar-i-Sharif, Afghanistan, next to Balkh — and as hundreds of other Manicheans are buried under assumed identities as Christians and Muslims, which protected the tombs of these heretics from the Christian and Muslim Zealots.

Short Treatise on Culture

Worlds Lost

First, a little background about myself. I was born in Bucharest, Romania, in January 1980, and grew up in a house built in the 19th century along one of the city’s main boulevards — Victory Street! — only about three blocks from a major city center — Victory Plaza. Since I was born in January 1980, I lived through all of the 1980s in the communist Eastern European bloc — right up until the bitter end in December 1989, when, after a swift military trial in the morning, former president Nicolae Ceauşescu and former first lady Elena Ceauşescu were executed by firing squad on Christmas 1989. Communism was over in Romania. “The dictator has fled! The dictator has fled!” I was confused: Who was this “dictator”? I hadn’t even heard the word before. Up until yesterday he was always “our beloved leader.”

The whole thing — revolution, trial, atrocities, Ceauşescu fleeing in a tank, his trial and execution — was broadcast on freshly liberated Romanian television (the only two television stations at the time, TVR1 and TVR2, were owned and operated by the state) because — why not? The country needed closure and a symbolic end to the era that began in 1952 with Gheorghe Gheorghiu-Dej. That might have been traumatic for a 9-year-old to witness after spending 10 days inside the house while revolution raged outside, with tanks and AKs firing in nearby Victory Plaza (as it’s still called). But there was no such thing as emotional trauma there and then.

Two images from the 1989 Revolution, both taken in Palace Plaza (Piaţa Palatului). Credit: unknown

The world I was born into and grew up in, literally and symbolically, is gone. It doesn’t exist anymore. I never liked New York and I never got used to it, even after living there for 25 years — which means there is nothing for me to go “back” to anywhere. For example, the corner of Victory Plaza closest to our house began to be developed shortly after I started school, and by fourth grade, when the revolution came, the hulls of unfinished apartment buildings were already standing. Needless to say, these got shot to shit before they were completed. I don’t know what happened to them after that; in January 1990 I turned 10, and three months later, in April, I moved to New York City with my family. Between that development and our house, on a corner of our very street was a lovely park that featured prominently in my childhood. My happiest memory was of a snowstorm one evening that blanketed everything, so my father took my sister and me to that park in the dark, when no one else was out. The foreign feeling fresh snow lends to familiar surroundings, the orange streetlights, the lack of traffic, the big flakes all conspired to impart such a sense of excitement as puppies might experience at the sight of fresh snow.

That was us then — my dad, my sister and me. Today that park is a Starbucks Coffee in a commercial building, the neighborhood is the new financial district of Bucharest, its priciest real estate, and our house at str. Frumoasă nr. 8 (“Beautiful Street No. 8”) was knocked down long ago to make room for a multistorey villa on the same lot that houses something called the American Council. (In fairness, at some point the old house would have needed to be updated or condemned; it was sold by my uncle in the early 2000s, who used the money to build a replica house somewhere else.)

The house I grew up in, 8 Frumoasă St. in Bucharest, in 2009 after being abandoned for years. Credit: Google
Rebuilt 8 Frumoasă St. today, housing something called the American Council. Credit: Google (Aug. 2023)

Just as communist Eastern Europe disappeared along with my childhood, so too have other worlds come and gone: the “pre-9/11” world, the “pre-Great Recession” world, the “pre-pandemic” world, the “pre-January 6” world and so on. Today we live on the precipice of World War III, with wars in Europe and in the Middle East not like recent wars, but like the wars of the 1940s. Humanity is picking up right where it left off. The “pre-” worlds of the United States — pre-9/11, pre-COVID — feel nostalgic and quaint when compared to our world today. So many worlds have come and gone and things are changing so quickly that it doesn’t feel right to get attached to any of them any longer. Let history flow; I am only a witness. And as a witness, I would like to make a few critical observations of my adoptive culture — America — realizing they might not be well received but having no interest in the reaction. These are my own notes.

Brief Observations on American Culture

Maybe it has always been the case in America, a nation founded on opportunity and enterprise that never quite found time for things without material value, but today the West as a whole no longer recognizes people of intellectual stature, the original thinkers among us who make lasting contributions.

In the United States we simply don’t have the time or perspective for such cultural indulgences — and we don’t like experts unless they’re selling us self-help. To be a writer today means to cash in on your existing celebrity by hiring a host of people to create a “brand” (agent, publicist, publisher, assistants, ghostwriter, editing, design, legal team and so on — it takes a village). The other options left to a writer are writing either pulp fiction or children’s books. The truth is, no one really wants to think about or remember how we got from the 17th to the 21st centuries, or about the existential threats we currently face. What we desperately need is escape! — so who wants to think about all that depressing shit? Not the people I meet. We’ve got to stay positive, be mindful, be kind and send positive vibes at all times — which you just can’t do if you’re questioning the prevailing wisdom.

The cultural fashion here is to be an idiot your whole life and never be an expert on anything. It’s deeply offensive to Americans to pass yourself off as an expert, like you’re better than everyone else, unless you have a resume worthy of a webpage, a compelling personal story of adversity, and of course something to sell — in which case they’ll worship you. The average urban or suburban American of the generations coming after me is a lifelong student who enjoys yoga classes, guided meditations, podcasts and video games, is timid and socially awkward, avoids confrontation and risk, likes to plan out their weekends, becomes a “Cat Mom,” puts stickers on their car that say “Tell your dog I said hi,” does countless other things I’ll never understand, but doesn’t like to read or think.

Pet Parent Support,” offered through a third party by employers. Credit: dvapawisdom

As for the working class, for fun on weekends they reward themselves by going camping, “haul loads” in “toy haulers” towed by diesel trucks, load and unload, tear up state lands with their toys, kill animals, launch boats, pollute rivers, make an infernal noise, and generally destroy everything they touch. They can’t enjoy nature except by destroying it. Having no imagination and no capacity for reflection, the only thing they can think of to do in their spare time is more work — fortunately that’s our common national value, working ourselves to death.

A Corporate Culture

Unfortunately, the United States does not have an organic culture that grew naturally out of millennia of shared experience and problem-solving; instead it has “corporate culture” — culture for profit, a culture imposed from the outside by corporations seeking to connect with their consumer audiences. Therefore our culture comes from brands, from media, from celebrities — from Hollywood — and it changes frequently as needed. But who actually creates it? I would say that Western media has completely rent the fabric of American culture during the past 40 years, but America had no “cultural fabric” to begin with — only diluted subcultures that limped along. That’s a big part of the reason corporate culture was so easily imposed in the first place. The biggest advantage of this model is that corporate culture can be altered or replaced at any time, as needed.

You’re here because you know something. What you know you can’t explain. But you feel it. You’ve felt it your entire life. Like there’s something wrong with the world. You don’t know what it is. But it’s there, like a splinter in your mind. Driving you mad. … You can see it when you look out your window, or when you turn on your television. You can feel it when you go to work. When you go to church. When you pay your taxes. It is the world that has been pulled over your eyes.

—Morpheus, The Matrix (1999) Courtesy: Warner Bros. Pictures, Village Roadshow Pictures

For example, in the early 1990s parents and religious groups petitioned Congress to add the “Parental Advisory: Explicit Lyrics” warning to audiotapes and the new medium of compact discs (CDs), especially following the release of N.W.A.’s debut album Straight Outta Compton in 1988, with its namesake track and ‘Fuck tha Police.’ At the time, this thoughtful gesture was intended to protect fragile and impressionable young minds. Fast-forward 30 years, past the rise of the UFC into what it is today, the films and series being produced by artificial intelligence (AI) for streaming companies like Netflix, Hulu, Peacock, Disney+, Amazon Prime Video and others, and the meteoric rise of “gaming,” which fits all the criteria of a dangerous addiction (loss of money, harm to relationships, lack of interest in doing anything else), and a fragile young mind today is exposed to more violence in one hour than it was back then in one year.

The unstoppable success of the Ultimate Fighting Championship franchise has led to a normalization of mindless brutality not seen since the Dark Ages — which in turn has pervaded other forms of culture and media, such as films and games. Since profits must still be made, the boundaries must be pushed constantly, new lows of human degradation must be dreamt up afresh each day, with the effect that our culture today resembles something no parent 30 years ago could have imagined in their most dreadful nightmares. Yet today, it’s all so… normal.

It is the normalization of immoral behavior that has so degraded “culture” in the United States. From the 1970s through the 2000s, and perhaps for all of human history before that, revenge could be enjoyed only when it was pursued for just cause — when it was “justice.” Violence against fellow man was culturally acceptable only when endowed with a moral justification. The traditional cause, from Death Wish to Gladiator, was a man having his family raped or killed, or both. That all changed in 2014 with the John Wick franchise — now grown to four installments, one announced spinoff and one cross-platform videogame — in which the namesake character singlehandedly massacres whole armies, all because they killed… his dog. John must’ve been a “Dog Dad.” At the very least, it shows that today we hate our fellow man so much that we prefer animals to strangers.

Another example of how “popular” culture normalizes bad behavior: in this case two feature films, both released in 2011, aimed to normalize the idea of having uncommitted sexual relationships. Credit: IMDB

Personal Truth

My personal truth is that I can’t talk in depth or honestly to anyone I meet. I got used to it long ago, although for many years I rued the fact that I will just never fit in. For starters, most of the Americans I meet don’t have two cultures, like I do — and even if they have two or more cultures, the other one isn’t my culture. So a fundamental dimension of how I experience the world is already missing. On top of that, I am isolated by my hobbies and intellectual pursuits (reading, writing). That’s why I feel I can only relate to and have conversations with the dead writers of the past — and only one living writer, Cyril Glassé (C.G.).